i still hope...

i'm crying for help as i drown in your ocean
and your name is on the tip of my tongue
but i keep reminding myself that you're not here
i keep having to remind myself that you won't ever hear me.

i thought i battled the disease of you
but i keep finding myself with a pen and paper
while writing you into poems you'll never read;
that doesn't seem like a cured soul to me
but i'm starting to believe 
i won't ever entirely recover from you anyway
because i gave you my heart, my soul, my love
and you went and sold them.

i need to drown in your presence instead of your ocean
yet i can't bear to look at you
i want to cry out your name
like you'd ever be the one to save me from this
but i keep reminding myself that you're not hear me
but somehow, i still hope you'd show up.


-nhs