i fear your freedom
thus, i must fear my own
you are a changing woman
i recognize you
and am trying to free you
of me
it is your freedom
that i love
i have not yet
learned to love
without holding on
Saturday, February 21, 2015
chess...
yes, it is hurtful what happened.
but here is the thing,
your narcissist doesn't feel they
have lost one thing.
they were never attached to you.
they aren't even processing this
in the way a normal person
grieves a relationship.
by making these statements
you are only giving them
narcissistic supply.
they aren't taking it to heart.
they aren't going to wake up
one day and think,
"wow, i lost such a good person!
what was i thinking?"
this will never happen.
you are putting yourself at their mercy
when you go to this place.
they don't care you're gone.
they didn't care that they had you.
all they are thinking about is
themselves and their cold,
calculated plans to dominate the world.
seriously.
they are playing chess
and you were merely a pawn.
but here is the thing,
your narcissist doesn't feel they
have lost one thing.
they were never attached to you.
they aren't even processing this
in the way a normal person
grieves a relationship.
by making these statements
you are only giving them
narcissistic supply.
they aren't taking it to heart.
they aren't going to wake up
one day and think,
"wow, i lost such a good person!
what was i thinking?"
this will never happen.
you are putting yourself at their mercy
when you go to this place.
they don't care you're gone.
they didn't care that they had you.
all they are thinking about is
themselves and their cold,
calculated plans to dominate the world.
seriously.
they are playing chess
and you were merely a pawn.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
my demons...
my demons,
though quiet,
are never silenced.
calm as they may be,
they wait patiently
for a reason to wake,
take an overdue breath,
and crawl back to my ear.
though quiet,
are never silenced.
calm as they may be,
they wait patiently
for a reason to wake,
take an overdue breath,
and crawl back to my ear.
lucky...
she doesn't say 'i love you'
like a normal person.
instead, she'll laugh,
shake her head, give you a little smile,
and say.......'you're an idiot'.
if she tells you you're an idiot,
you are a lucky man.
like a normal person.
instead, she'll laugh,
shake her head, give you a little smile,
and say.......'you're an idiot'.
if she tells you you're an idiot,
you are a lucky man.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
shattered...
i always thought it would be difficult
to find someone who will love me
when i'm always scattered
in a thousand pieces
it's like trying to complete a puzzle
when you don't even know if you have
all the right pieces
but then you showed me
that every piece
doesn't have to be in a place
to create something beautiful
that love can exist
in the most
imperfect
lost
and broken people
and i promise you
that love will be just
as beautiful,
if you're in a thousand pieces
or just one.
to find someone who will love me
when i'm always scattered
in a thousand pieces
it's like trying to complete a puzzle
when you don't even know if you have
all the right pieces
but then you showed me
that every piece
doesn't have to be in a place
to create something beautiful
that love can exist
in the most
imperfect
lost
and broken people
and i promise you
that love will be just
as beautiful,
if you're in a thousand pieces
or just one.
asleep...
you're asleep and i'm sad
i wanted to stay up all night
and talk with you about
your day and why the sky is blue
everything is so easy with us,
our words flow back and forth steadily,
like the gliding of a ship
atop a calm sea
when i feel broken,
you mend me with your words
when i have nothing to say,
you effortlessly occupy the silence
you fill this gap inside me
in a way that makes me forget
i was ever incomplete
i'd tell you all of this,
but you're asleep.
i wanted to stay up all night
and talk with you about
your day and why the sky is blue
everything is so easy with us,
our words flow back and forth steadily,
like the gliding of a ship
atop a calm sea
when i feel broken,
you mend me with your words
when i have nothing to say,
you effortlessly occupy the silence
you fill this gap inside me
in a way that makes me forget
i was ever incomplete
i'd tell you all of this,
but you're asleep.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
no help for that...
there is a place in he heart that
will never be filled
a space
and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times
we will know it
we will know it
more than
ever
there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled
and
we will wait
and
wait
in that
space
will never be filled
a space
and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times
we will know it
we will know it
more than
ever
there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled
and
we will wait
and
wait
in that
space
Sunday, February 8, 2015
fragments&flashes...
maybe i will see us
through fragments and flashes
in places we were.
but although i don't know why
you changed your mind
i stopped needing an answer.
through fragments and flashes
in places we were.
but although i don't know why
you changed your mind
i stopped needing an answer.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
golden...
lying there,
in utter vulnerability,
she wipes her eyes.
she had not the slightest clue,
just how mighty
her tears could be,
and that no matter
the pain or the loneliness
or even the days when she
feels like merely
a punctured soul,
there was always
someone out there
thinking she was
golden.
-poindexter
in utter vulnerability,
she wipes her eyes.
she had not the slightest clue,
just how mighty
her tears could be,
and that no matter
the pain or the loneliness
or even the days when she
feels like merely
a punctured soul,
there was always
someone out there
thinking she was
golden.
-poindexter
Sunday, February 1, 2015
closure...
closure.
we all seek it.
we seek the end of things and also the beginning of new things.
those things we can't find closure on.
they haunt us.
they pop up in our dreams, and creep into our thoughts in idle moments.
like a mind-bender that's beyond our mental capacity, a mystery that just won't be solved.
we all seek it.
we seek the end of things and also the beginning of new things.
those things we can't find closure on.
they haunt us.
they pop up in our dreams, and creep into our thoughts in idle moments.
like a mind-bender that's beyond our mental capacity, a mystery that just won't be solved.
tell me...
tell me if you ever cared,
if a single thought
for me was spared.
tell me when you lie in bed,
do you think of something
i once said.
tell me if you hurt at all,
when someone says
my name with yours.
it may have been so long ago,
but i would give
the world to know.
-lang leav
if a single thought
for me was spared.
tell me when you lie in bed,
do you think of something
i once said.
tell me if you hurt at all,
when someone says
my name with yours.
it may have been so long ago,
but i would give
the world to know.
-lang leav
willing yourself to live...
...there is always one person you love who becomes that definition.
it usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually.
this is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable...
the person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happens to meet first time you really, really, want to love someone. but that person still wins.
they win, and you lose.
because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
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