i wonder...

i recently came across this:
"i wonder whose arms would i fall into if i were drunk in a room with everyone i have ever loved."
this becomes almost deeper when you think of non-romantic loves as well.
i am not going to include family or the best friend that's not romantic-ish.

of course, there are the romantic loves to think of first:
-the first love ex: the one that at the time, you thought you could not live without? the young and dumb love? the one that if you really think about it, was just practice? in all honesty, i wouldn't even include them. yeah, you still love them, but after all this time...you question if it even qualifies?
-the madly in lust, not love ex- that one shouldn't even qualify to begin with. sure at the time, you swore it was love.....but it never was. you were never in love, but the sex was good kind of thing. if you two had to actually have a conversation and it ended up in a fight....etc.
-the better off as friends ex- oh man. you have a deep bond. a love like no other. you two love each other, but you just can't get along enough to make it work. the fights were brutal. the making up was always nice, but it always went back and forth. the moment you'd try to make it work and put pressure on each other, it always went to hell. yes, the passion involved was like no other, but it's much healthier to just leave it as friends. you put each other through hell, but looking back...it made the bond so much stronger. you admire this person because they are always there, one of the most important people in your life, and you two can make it through anything. you know every inch of this persons soul, and you can look past all the shit you two have been through. 
-the mortal enemy ex- yeah, you love them. probably still have some kind of love, but you would still throw an anchor if they were drowning. fuck them. don't run to them. i'll stop on that one.

now to the much deeper loves:
-the one that got away- where do you even start to explain this one? this is the one with the amazing chemistry. (when i say chemistry, i mean: touching your mind and setting your body on fire kind of chemistry) this person could have been the one you patiently waited for and when you finally got them you were on top of the world. you literally lived for this person and every breath you shared together. any time they touched you, it was like they were writing poetry on your skin. the one that always came in and out of your life, and always kept you guessing. nobody has ever captivated you in this way. no matter how much time had passed. how could one heart stopping soul have so much power over you? the one that you were addicted to like they were drugs. sadly, you would still fight for them...and tomorrow if they even said hi, you'd be walking on air again. this person is the one who will always have a part of you no matter what. that kind of love. the kind you could start fires with what you feel for them.
-the best friend of the opposite gender- probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. they are unlike any other. you can talk to this person for hours and never ever get bored. you can tell them anything and they won't judge you and still think the sun shines out of your ass. you have a bond like no other and a deep deep love for one another. you couldn't imagine living this life without this person. "what would you do if i died today? i'd die tomorrow." when you fall to the floor, they will be the person to lay beside you and remind you to breathe. the one who makes your life worth living just because they are simply your other half. they carry stars in their pockets because they know you fear the dark. 
-the unrequited love- nothing haunts us like the things we don't say, in the end. this is the kind of love that rattles the human skull more. endless nights thinking "how could they not feel it? how could they not see the signs? what did i miss? why couldn't i see the signs? why couldn't i have given in? why did i have to realize this too fucking late? why could everyone else see it, but me?" there are no answers, just questions upon questions. unrequited love plagues the mind and shatters the soul. the questions. the scenarios. it always takes something drastic to happen for the love to even be realized and when you do...get ready. the loudest fucking haunting ever. you yearn for the day that you can finally tell them how you feel....but it's too late. maybe in another life. the worst part is knowing they are truly, madly, and deeply in love with you and you are too stubborn to realize that the feeling is mutual. the nostalgia comes in waves and suddenly you are drowning in it all.

-side note: some cases, unrequited love and the best friend could be the same person.-

but after all of that, who would you run to?
what if you didn't know the unrequited love existed?
would you run to the one who got away or the best friend?