i am filled with things and i battle feelings
i have never wanted to exist inside of me.
i lack too much confidence and i carry too
much sadness and my body is full of stars
that never learned their name. i wear my
insecurities like pockets and i fill them
with my fears and my hands are growing tired
from reaching down into them to hold the feeling
of being afraid. i am afraid. always afraid.
afraid like chimes when the wind lips
are sealed. afraid like your eyes when the stars
fall asleep in the black. afraid like dreams
when they realize they are just dreams and that
reality is that one scar that will never
fade away.
i am, terrified. terrified that the things inside me
are the things that will keep me from ever finding
a home inside someone else.
-christopher poindexter
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