i am sorry...

i am sorry. completely and terribly. 
i am sorry for all the times and all the days and all the moments i did not tell you how much you are loved. 
i am sorry that you ache and that you bleed and that made you crumble so much that sometimes, it feels as if you are going to disintegrate a million, hopeless pieces.
i am sorry that it hurts much more when i have forgotten, truly forgotten, to tell you much much i was and am now, mad for even your pieces and i'm sorry if you never felt me when i laid awake through the night watching you sleep trying to think of a way to thread you back into something whole: only because i know you wanted to feel completed. 

i am sorry for the tide that that blossoms in your eyes when you want nothing more than a calm, blue sea. 
i am sorry for all the times i cannot give that to you and i'm sorry for the times i can not give that to you and i'm sorry for the times you can not give that to me. it does not even matter. 
my love, because you are all and you are everything, 
you are the grace, you are the splendor. 
you are the heaven when i am the hell. 

you are all,
all is you.

i, will marry your pieces.


-Christopher poindexter